Stop “Shoulding” Yourself: A Little Language Shift That Changes Everything!

Do you have a tendency to use the word “should”? 😬 You're not alone! In this video, I explore how the word "should" can sneak judgment, shame, and rigidity into our self-talk (and how we talk about others!). ✨ Learn how small language shifts can bring more compassion into your daily life — for yourself and for the people around you.

Check out this video if you:

• Feel guilty for not doing "enough"

• Want to improve your self-talk

👇 Drop your favorite “should” replacement in the comments!

The other day, a friend looked at me and said, “You realize you've been using the word 'should' a lot lately?”

Cue the record scratch.

I hadn’t realized it. But once she pointed it out, it was like hearing an echo — I should do this… I should’ve done that… They should know better…

Why “Should” Feels So Heavy

There’s something sneaky about the word should. It sounds innocent enough, right? But often, it's laced with guilt, judgment, and shame — whether it's directed inward or outward.

When I say, “I should work out more,” what I’m often really saying is: “I’m not doing enough.”Or when we think, “They should call more often,” it can imply resentment or unmet expectations.

Should boxes us in. It assumes there’s only one “right” way — and if we’re not doing it (or if someone else isn’t), we’ve failed.

Try Softer Words

What if we replaced should with something gentler, something more honest and open?

Instead of:

• I should exercise more ➡️ I’d like to move my body more often.

• They should check in with me ➡️ I really miss talking to them.

These phrases allow for kindness, clarity, and choice — and they feel lighter on our hearts.

A Little Challenge for You

This week, listen for the shoulds — in your thoughts, your conversations, even your to-do list. Then, gently ask:

• What’s behind this should?

• Is it coming from shame or care?

• What would a kinder, more flexible version sound like?

Because you deserve to speak to yourself (and others) with compassion. 💛

Let’s stop shoulding ourselves. Let’s start being curious instead.

✨ Let's celebrate the small wins that build the big life you want. Because success isn’t just a destination — it’s the journey we take together. Schedule a call now!